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Crash Repair
hOW WE ENDED UP HERE CONTINUED
"Sparrows Noise"
He's up in a flash, down the stairs & after a quick brew
he's bouncing down to the Hen Shed again, thinking all the way of how he's
going to attack the task ahead. He'd ran it through his head a 100 times last
night in bed before the Sand Man got him.
On arrival he deactivates the security system
"Hook & Staple".
Opens the
doors wide & armed with a Filler Spreader begins to flick out what's left of the
unfortunate corps. Flatting out the footprints with a piece of worn out wet or
dry.Then dries & cleans the panel,checks for any remaining Blue Bottles though
concludes they all must be still asleep. Fires up the
"Commander"
who's noise
could wake up the dead.
With the cows mooing, the pigs grunting & the hens
clucking. He even manages to wake the Farmer! Who's a bit P*ss*d as even he doesn't get up this early.
All this commotion caused by one fly? Regardless of the huge upset the
"Commander"
has reached peak pressure & switched itself off.
" It's switching
back on that can be a bit of an issue".
With Moleys squeezed just right he
mists on a bit of colour
" Not too wet"
too avoid a solvent reaction. He gently
applies some heat with the Hot Air Gun
"The old hair dryer his Mum gave him"
though swiftly remembers that the element took the knock last week & it's only blowing cold air. So taking his time & learning that patience is a must for
this kind of work, he has to wait. Once flashed off it's for the shinny stuff again & this time all goes well. After the fog has cleared he eagerly goes back in & is delighted at the result. With nothing else to do bar watching paint dry, he's off to see a compressor with a bit of waft. Disappointed at the staggering price of a half decent machine the enthusiasm begins to fade. This however changes when the salesman mentions hire purchase & explains that if he successfully
applies that he would be able to buy all sorts of nice shinny tools. Obviously his attempt failed because his credit rating didn't exist. Not being a character of failure , on his way home he bought his Mum a large box of chocolates. We can all guess what happened next ? Correct, once Mum had signed on the dotted line the opportunities seemed endless.
Next morning it was the same drill, down to the shed early though this
ttime full of confidence as he new he'd nailed it. Soon unmasked, polished &
built back the job was done. The buzz was even bigger when it was collected
with the customer thrilled to bits & producing a couple of quid extra for a pint.
With a Bookies Pencil. on the back of a Fag Packet he calculated his
Profit & Loss account which was the latter. The ordeal had cost him 50 quid
though a valuable lesson had been learned.
Armed with some decent gear, thanks to Mum it wasn't long before he
moved on from the shed to a more suitable place & this time had the gear to
kit it out in a proper fashion.
Back then when apprenticeships were real, some were lucky & managed
to secure one. Not for the lack of trying
"Fred"
wasn't so lucky so had to wing
it though he did have three good friends who shared their knowledge to he
will always be most grateful.
The above is a true account & several Blue
Bottles later, here we are. After 45 years the
Hair Dryers are Heat Guns, the Vice Grips
are Regulators, the Barn Doors are now
Filtered Extractors, Paint Guns are HVLP
& are no longer Syphon Fed though
Gravity, Cellulose made an exit years ago &
has been superseded by far superior finishes,
Wet or Dry has evolved into Dry Systems though
quality has suffered with this in our opinion so is used as little as possible.
A Bucket of Water is still a Bucket of water, A Rubbing Block is still the
same,Washing up Liquid hasn't really changed & is still used often.
A Blue Bottle is still a F**king Nuisance & a substitute for Skill, Knowledge
& Experience still does not exist!!!
So along with the gear you need the idea.
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